


Sorrow of the Bakers

by FunkMcLovin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Baking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23031913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkMcLovin/pseuds/FunkMcLovin
Summary: Based onTHIS TWEET
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Sorrow of the Bakers

"Alright, we picked a name. Now we need some recipes."

June leaned back in the dining room chair, regarding Jane with a smile. She was so happy things were going so well for them. Since she was a kid, she'd dreamed of a quiet life, and their lives up until now had been anything but. Settling down, starting a bakery with her... Well, with what closely approximated to a sister, that sounded enchanting to June. Jane, too, was similarly at ease.

"Indeed! I think we're covered on that front. After all, June, dear, I DID grow up with a spoon that contained detailed baking and cooking instructions in my strife specibus!" June's eyes narrowed slyly. "You could say... I was born with a red velvet spoon in my mouth! Hoo hoo hoo!" They shared a laugh, sitting across from each other at Jane's dining room table.

Jane clapped her hands together excitedly. This was JUST the outlet she needed. She'd been so restless, laying on her proverbial laurels after the ordeal that was Sburb finished up, and now she could start her baking empire again from the ground up, with her... Well, with what closely approximated to a sister at her side!

"Sure!" Replied June, "And Dad was always baking when I was a kid, so I'm sure we can both come up with some great stuff."

Jane giggled, waving her hand, fondly remembering her own father's baking penchant.

"Oh, June, that's sweet, but really, I have the recipes down pat. No need to try to remember your dad's stuffy old recipes with this at the ready!"

Jane withdrew her trusty Crocker-brand spoon. June swallowed. She was sure Jane hadn't meant anything by it, but June's father's recipes meant a lot to her! It was something to remember the old man by, something to imagine June following in his footsteps. June didn't say anything, watching Jane flip through her recipe book.

"Now let's see, here..." Jane said, withdrawing a piece of paper, beginning to scrawl some menu items. "Cakes, cupcakes, pies, macaroons..." She leaned over the sheet, scribbling and scrawling away.

"Uh," June said, leaning forward to see what Jane was writing. "I think we could have some seven-layer bars. Maybe some no-bakes, I loved making those with-"

"Hmm?" Jane looked up, pushing her spectacles up her nose, as though June had just walked in the room. She smiled a small smile, the smile she used on small animals and children. "Oh, of course, June," she said, looking back down at the paper. "But no-bakes are a little, well- Cliche, don't you think?"

"Huh? No, I-"

"And seven layer bars? I can't see them selling many. We want to turn a profit, don't we?"

"Well, sure, but-"

"Great! I'm glad we agree." Jane said, chipper and bubbly. She turned back to her paper. June bristled, crossing her arms.

"Look, Jane, it's not a big deal, but... I mean its OUR bakery, shouldn't I have some say in what's on the menu?" June watched Jane carefully. She didn't like to be so combative, but Jane was starting to act condescending. June wanted to trust Jane wasn't doing it on purpose, but she still felt she had to stand up for herself! Jane looked up, putting her pen down calmly.

"Of course you have some say in our company, June," Jane said. June sighed with relief. She opened her mouth to apologize for being so brash, but Jane cut her off. "...Why, you chose the name!" Grinning proudly, Jane went back to her scribbling.

"Hey!" June banged on the table with the flat of her palm. "That's not what I mean, Jane, my dad was a great baker, too! You're kind of steamrolling me here." Jane's smile faltered. "Plus the name you picked sucked ass!"

"Excuse me?!" Jane bristled, huffing. "What's wrong with 'CrockBert Enterprises?' It's a fine, serviceable name! And lest you forget, I was heiress to a baking empire! My grandmother was THE Betty Crocker! Your grandma was some joke shop owner!" Jane put her nose in the air.

"My grandma was YOU, you dingus!" June insisted, "And we literally had to kill your grandma for doing genocides!" June grabbed the sheet of paper away from Jane, scanning it from behind her square glasses. "Let's see here..."

June read the document, her face souring. There were some decent menu items, but Jane was obviously skimping on some of the recipes.

"Aw, Jane, look, see? A lemon meringue needs more sugar than what this recipe calls for, and you should use raw, it tastes better!" Jane snatched the paper back, clutching it possessively to her chest.

"Hmph! We can't all wish for pie in the sky, June, we have to be profitable! We can't be on the map if we don't think about cost, too!" Jane frowned, looking over her recipes. Their voices were raising, two stubborn girls, hard-headed and passionate under one roof, such an argument was all but inevitable.

"Look, I just want to be a baker like my dad, Jane. I thought you'd be able to help me do that!" June felt a little put-off, the once-fond memory of her father's talk of owning a bakery somewhat bitter at the moment.

"Well with that attitude, we can hardly build my baking empire!"

June was silent. The words seemed to reverberate around the room, and Jane's mouth fell open, realizing how she'd sounded. June's fist balled at her sides, knuckles turning red.

"Your empire, huh? Well, I hope you enjoy your crummy empire, Jane, because I don't want to be a part of it." June turned on her heel, arms crossed. Jane balked. She raised her arm, reaching weakly for June, her voice quiet.

"Wait..." Jane said. June hesitated, refusing to look over her shoulder. She felt so stupid, she was on the verge of tears. She shouldn't have trusted Jane with this, there was no way she'd understand.

"Look, you don't get it. I want to do this to settle down and follow my dad's footsteps," June's voice was even, but she had to struggle to keep it so. "Your dad is still alive, you wouldn't understand." June winced. That had come out more unpleasant than she'd intended. Jane winced too, but she hastily spoke up.

"No... No, June, you're right. I shouldn't strongarm you into the same bad habits I used to fall into." Jane's voice was kind, now, not in the same condescending, over-cheery way. She seldom sounded like this, her voice untainted by the aggressive bubbliness it usually had, marred by years of life in the public eye. June turned back to Jane, sniffling. Seeing her sister cry, Jane's poor heart clenched. "W-we could each come up with a dozen menu ideas or so. Then we can look at suppliers before we pick ingredients. Does that sound better?"

June hadn't expected that. Jane usually was the more stubborn of the two of them, and as much as June wanted to rub it in Jane's face, she just nodded slowly, wiping her nose on a sleeve.

"Yeah," June said, her smile returning. "Thanks, Jane."

In the coming years, June and Jane's Bakery opened three locations. Each one bustled and each customer left happy, with a piece of cake in one hand and June's famous coffee in the other. Despite being the gods of Earth C, after a poor IPO, June and Jane's went under after just 7 years of baking. They never turned a profit, but Jane's father was exceptionally proud, going so far as to give them both a stern, loving pat on the back.


End file.
